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The Cauteriser

…where shit happens

Get “Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt” To Christmas #1

Posted on December 20, 2020 by thecauteriser

2020 has been a glorious shit storm, and it is evident that the best end we could possibly get to this year is one in which a 58 second song repeatedly calling Boris Johnson a “fucking cunt” lands the Christmas #1 spot in the UK music charts.

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Bisch Nadar – Wink Murder [Single Review]

Posted on November 6, 2019 by thecauteriser

Bisch Nadar - Wink MurderI’m not entirely sure how to pronounce Bisch Nadar, so forgive me if I say it incorrectly during this review.

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Dead Shed Jokers – New Single/Video and All The Seasons Vinyl Release

Posted on November 3, 2019 by thecauteriser

DSJ - Band Photo (Compress)All The Seasons is standing firm as one of my top albums of 2019, and Dead Shed Jokers have just released a new way to be pleasured by their creation with a gorgeous red 180g gatefold vinyl alongside the new single, Feel Some More, with its own complimentary lyric video.

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Enamel Animal – Anymore [Single Review]

Posted on November 2, 2019 by thecauteriser

Enamel Animal - AnymoreIt has gotten to the point for me where the more unique, experimental and downright weird music has been taking more of my interest, especially with writing for so many bands, so when I start talking favourably about some good, honest alternative rock music, then you know that it’s something to take note of.

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Escape To What – New Music Video – Pandamonia

Posted on November 1, 2019 by thecauteriser

The UK Industrial beast that is Escape To What have just released their music video for the new song, Pandamonia, and it’s as huge as it is dark.

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Mr. Ted – El Dirty Sexy [Album Review]

Posted on September 22, 2019 by thecauteriser

Mr. Ted - El Dirty SexyMr. Ted could have had an album here that would rival Black Flag’s My War and Slip It In, but that would be boring. Instead we have the most absurdly stupid album that you will ever enjoy for all of the reasons. Right and wrong.

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Qoheleth – Black And White Electric Light OST [Review]

Posted on September 19, 2019 by thecauteriser

Qoheleth - Black and White Electric LightIf I had to list bands who I’d love to hear create a soundtrack, Qoheleth would be my top spot. Well, guess what just happened…

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Modern Day Dukes – 100% Full Fat Noise [Album Review]

Posted on September 17, 2019 by thecauteriser

Modern Day Dukes - 100% Full Fat NoiseWhen talking about bands who shunned guitars from their lineup and ran with basses at full power, Exit_International and Castrovalva have always been the two bands that came to mind. Well now we have Modern Day Dukes.

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They’re Coming To Get You Barbara – Damn! These Electric Sex Pants [Single Review]

Posted on September 5, 2019 by thecauteriser

TCTGYB - Damn These Electric Sex PantsThey’ve got the band name, they’ve got the song title, they’ve got the Matt Berry sample, all that’s left is a weird prog-metal concoction to bring it all together…

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Dead Shed Jokers – All The Seasons [Album Review]

Posted on August 26, 2019 by thecauteriser

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I don’t like all of the seasons so I wasn’t sure as to how I would… okay I’ll definitely stop this now.

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